Tonight my heart is heavy. I learned of an incredibly difficult experience that a dear friend is facing today and have had an entirely new spectrum of emotions take over. I am honestly doubting my faith in humanity this day and wonder where grace and love have failed my dear one.
The questions in my mind are fluttering near panic and then to complete disdain. I ache to be near my friend, hold her hand, hear her voice and tell her that she is strong enough to journey down this path that has been forced upon her.
I don't consider myself one to hold that poison of all poisons...hatred...in my soul. However, tonight I find myself questioning my resolve to withstand it's grip. I find myself battling with the word forgiveness. I believe I have forgiven much of myself and others in my life and don't understand why this experience is pushing me...challenging me so. I know there is a lesson to be learned here. I know I will somehow come through this...I must!
I seem to be questioning the absolute...the definite...that moment where people change from the goodness that I believe everyone has into a monster. That moment where the body and soul separate. I am wondering and almost fascinated with the concept that a thought, created in a human mind can take over a life...lives...and change them forever. I do believe there is a moment in time when all will answer for the deeds done...good and bad...right and wrong...and maybe we all don't understand that difference. It's just really hard to accept that as truth.
I know my mind will marinate on this...it will become saturated with confusion but eventually the clarity will shine through. I know I have the power inside to forgive, to accept and heal. Tonight I wait and watch for the clarity to knock on my door and hope that peace arrives with it...although I know it will not be tonight, but perhaps many nights.
Please...hug someone you love. Look in there eyes and memorize their goodness, their heart...mirror it to them so that they may never loose their way. Promise yourself now that you will always strive to forgive and love in all situations. Make a commitment to love in all conditions. Walk with me on this path...
Much Love!
Chels
5 comments:
I admit I have a feeling of what you are going through. I love you Chels. Your blog inspires me and makes me think. I know this time is hard for you but you can overcome. Walk with that beautiful smile on your face. Hold someone else up with your humor. You are the most beautiful person I know, inside and out. Don't ever let yourself forget that. Hold tight to humanity Chels, it needs beautiful people like you on its side right now. I miss you!!!
T
I love you! Thank you for checking on me and caring about me. I can feel your love and I know that my sister can also. She is watching down on all of us. I hope to see you soon Chels. I'll call you after the funeral. We need to chat. As you always say, Much Love!
the world in all its goodness is yours sweetheart. i love your blog. my friend has recommended it. i don't have one up and running yet but i love the way you set yours up and the real things you talk about. i would love to send you my blog address when it is up and running. "Much Love!"
rachel
Chelsea your words inspire me and the beautiful thoughts of your friends should bring you comfort. The love you show them and they you in return is wonderful. Thank you for sharing with us all. Love is a so important to everyone and needed more than ever.
All I can say is WOW, I LOVE You. You are so willing to share your love to those that are close to you. WOW again. You are the best.
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