L O V E

I've been thinking about something to post for a couple days. I have a lot of emotions and thoughts to share but it seems so much easier to sit here and listen to music. So, this is my post...just listen to the music for now. Try not to skip the ones you don't know but see if you get something new out of it. It's all about love. Love for self, others, nature, progress, memories, passage of regret, love for letting go...you tell me what you think/feel.

Sit back and enjoy, smile, cry, laugh...you deserve a break!

Much Love!!!

Mahalo

Wow...what a day! Waking to the the sound of the palm trees swaying just outside my window, the smell of the ocean breeze and the excitement of another day in Hawaii. Dad, Amy, Ashton, Corey and I hit the road early today to do a little exploring in the town of Kailua. It is a cute town right on the coast with lots of shops and restaurants. We watched the surf...and surfers as we ate lunch and then visited a local farmers market.

We also spent some time at Hapuna beach today where the waves were rockin' and the boys played in the sand. It seems that they have become accustomed to the feel of it between their little toes and they look so comfortable in this setting.

I have become comfortable here too. Everything seems so familiar that was once foreign...just in time to pack my bags and head back to Utah and the cold weather. I'm looking forward to seeing RJ...it seems like a year since last week in a way and to hear Ginger's husky song that she only sings for me : )

Of course I will miss the Hawaiian surroundings but take many good memories with me. I've decided that in another life...maybe after my Italian life...I might be Hawaiian. I have fallen in love, once again, with the culture, the history, the beauty, the language...all that is Hawaiian. In my dreams tonight I hope I dance the hula and surf the waves one last time before I leave the magical realm of the Aloha spirit.

Mahalo!

Fletch

Oh the waning moments of a vacation. I woke this morning to Casey jumping on my belly saying, "C'mon, get up! It's my last day here!" And so the day began.

Casey and I fell into our 5 day routine of snuggling the boys, feeding them breakfast, chasing them like lost boys and beefing up on our Disney Channel favorites. I will honestly miss the one on one time with Ashton and Corey. I think Casey and I have been very fortunate to have developed a bond with them in this way.

Then before I knew it I was once again lounging in paradise watching the waves roll in and feeling the sand warm as morning turned to day. We all spent most of the day at the beach at Mauni Lani. An absolutely incredible day!

There is the most serene bay there where sea turtles come up for air after feeding off the vegetation on the rocks. There are schools of fish swaying with the waves and once again there are the hammocks that line the beach where you can sit and wish and dream.

Today was a great day for me and two particular sea turtles. One I named Fletch and the other Mr. Underhill (from the movie, Fletch). Fletch was the first turtle of the day and swam up right in front of me to the point of nearly taking my nose off. He likes the sun like I do and managed to work himself up onto the black lava rocks to sun bathe when I wasn't looking. I sat with him for a while and watched his eyes open and close as he tried to ignore me and get some sleep...sorry Fletch but you fascinated me! Instead I listened to him tell me all about his journey from Australia and how he settled here with his little sea turtle family because he learned the hula at a young age and was facinated by its origin...thus applying for citizenship and becoming a hardworking Hawaiian sea turtle.

Mr. Underhill on the other hand was a cool customer and stayed to the water games. He is GINORMOUS and has a sort of yellowish shell. He didn't really have much to say seeing as how he was in the water all day but he did look quite peaceful as he swam about his daily routine in the sea turtle world. I imaine it's hard working for so little and entertaining nosey girls from Utah who won't leave you and your colleagues alone. Either way, they were great and very memorable.

I don't have any pictures of my two esteemed friends because of the water/camera situation and the fact that I was "swimming" (aka transporting) Casey to and from Fletch because she didn't have water shoes on. I'm pretty sure the pictures wouldn't have turned out anyway if the camera was either at the bottom of the bay or on a towel trying to dry out the sand and salt water that would be corroding all its intricate software watcha-ma-call-its. So, please take my word for it and the next time you visit the Mauni Lani bay give them some love from their girl in Utah.

Casey insisted that we get a family vacation picture before we left the beach today so those are the cute little pictures below.

This is the sissies photo that dad took just before we left to take Casey to the airport. I had a lot of fun with her on this vacation and will miss waking up without her tomorrow.

Well, anyway...just two more days and one night left. The count down is on anyway you look at it. Much love!!!

Whales

Casey and I went on a whale watching boat tour today. I watched the whales and Casey watched the cocktails...Mai Tai anyone?

It was amazing!!! The humpback whales surrounded our boat and seemed to be so curious about what we were doing. At one point there were two whales close enough that their spray got on us...which we learned is really mucus...GROSS!

There is something very powerful and real about watching the grace and beauty of a whale. They really are large but I got a sense of connection, of equality and such excitement. I felt small and at the same time a part of something so great and enormous. This trip has opened my eyes in many ways...really about myself and the changes I have been able to make. I believe that because of those changes I am now able to see the world as I should see it...mysterious, beautiful, raw, real and precious.

I don't know what you would call the experiences I have been able to have internally...some may call them apifinies...AH HA momemts...I just call to them like a soft whisper that was there the entire time. I feel so much peace...more than I have in years.

I also got to spend time with Dad and Casey at the Golf course at Mauni Lani this morning. It was fun to watch their competitive nature come out and their love for a sport. The course is beautiful beyond words...even the sand traps look inviting.

We met up with Amy and the boys for a little shopping and lunch where dad swiftly ushered everyone away from the Louis Vuitton store and once again past Tiffany and Co. I wonder why? I got pictures of Tiffany and Co. because I love the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's and the L'Occitane store because it made me homesick for my mommy! The boys got to run around the shopping area for a while and show off their speed. I think they're loving the sun andI can't wait to see the time when they truly are little surfer dudes.

I'm super tired so all the pictures are kinda lumped together...but I'm really just doing this for myself...I don't know if anyone is even reading this.

Poolside

I LOVE these tiles in the pool...

Casey and I got to spend a lot of time with the brothers. Before hitting the pool with them, we tended them while Amy and dad went golfing. I only got a few pictures at the pool because I wanted to soak up some sun.

After the pool, there was a quick shopping trip with Casey, Amy and I and then back to the villa for chasing and playing with the kids so Amy and dad could spend a quiet dinner with their friend the Prestons, who leave the island tomorrow.

In all the running around and craziness that twins MAY create…I was able to relax and get a little sun in the process. I just can’t seem to pass up the opportunity to soak up the spirit here.

Casey, Dad and I have an early morning tomorrow since the golf clubs will be flying. I’m just going along for the ride and picture taking. Stay turned to my novice writing and very, very, very inadequate Hawaiian picture taking. I just can’t seem to capture what I’m seeing in a tiny little picture. I wish I was more talented…but don’t let that scare you away. I’m still trying.

Much love to you all my friends!

Love the secluded parts of the pool

and the little person pool for the boys to walk around it.

My favorite was the beach chairs on the tiles with about 6 inches of water unterneath...seemed to keep me cooler and it just was cooler all around!

Ashton, getting his splash on!

Casey getting the brothers ready for their diving.

Corey, ploting his next attack.

Corey

Corey

All My Senses

Another day in paradise, yet it seems like a rebirth inside. There is something that awakens in my soul when amongst these islands and once again I feel ALIVE. I feel the breeze on my face, the waves against my body and the sun on my skin. I smell that intoxicating sweet mixture of plumeria and salt as it dances into my senses and paints the rainbow of Hawaiian life.

Today was mostly filled with sun and surf. Casey and I took a walk this morning through some lava tubes and then rewarded ourselves with a nice moment in a hammock on the beach.

I must say that this was one of the highlights for me. The only other time I have been to the Big Island of Hawaii, I spent many hours in the hammocks outside the hotel dreaming of life as an adult. What kind of love would I find…where would I live…what would my children be like…what would I be like? Now that some of those questions have answers, it was nice to be in that same spot and know that all was as it should be…just as I believed then, I believe now…there are no accidents.

We joined the Prestons once again for lunch and dinner and will have great memories of this day.

The boys exhausted themselves in the sand and even tried to make some friends today. This is definitely a trip of many firsts for them.

Instead of try to explain each picture there is a montage below for your enjoyment. Much love to you all! Stay safe and warm : )

ALOHA

Okay, let's start at the beginning. Here are Ashton and Corey at the airport...the beginning of a long day for everyone but these two were TROOPERS!!!


The flight from SL to LA was packed but short enough that everyone did ok. Then we had a gate change in LA that was kind of confusing and a super pain when you a stinky bum and no food in your tummy. The flight from LA to Kona was full too but Amy managed to get a bulkhead seating for her and Casey which gave the boys some room to play with toys. Dad was across the isle and I was in first class, thanks dad. It may sound snobby that I sat up there but most of you know why.

Overall everyone did wonderfully!!! I am so proud of Ashton and Corey and can't wait to tell them about their first plane ride some day. What a great opportunity to be apart of that!

This was my fist view of the ocean this morning as we went to visit some friends...ALOHA!!!

Corey and daddy in the sand for the first time. Corey couldn't figure out why his feet kept sinking at first and was a little wobbly but then he got the hang of it. This was such a fun experience to see for the first time. I wouldn't trade it!!!

More water time!

Amy (mommy) with Ashton, Corey and family friend Cheryl Preston. The boys LOVE the water and spash like fishes.

Corey and his sweet cheeks!

Corey attacking me and the camera on the ground. This kid is addicted to ANY electronic device.

Ashton, playing in the sun.

A tranquil little bay at the Prestons (Stan and Cheryl) hotel. We went to their hotel and swam, ate lunch and went to the beach. This is on the way to the beach and is full of crazy looking crabs and tiny little fish.

Ahhh...the beach!!! Beautiful Hawaiian sun and sand between my toes...I can't believe how much I missed this.

The Ocean...need I say more? This is where I truly feel accepted, at peace, centered. It's so beautiful here with the contrast of so much lava rock and then the blue ocean. Casey and I swam with sea turtles today near the rocks you can see. We took a few hits on the rocks and got some battle wounds but OH was it worth it. The surf is high now but makes for an even powerful experience by bringing to life the sounds of nature.

Ashton checking out the ocean and planting each foot carefully in the sand...it made me think about the poem called footsteps. At one point it got a little too hot so I picked him up to carry him. How many times have I been carried in my life by those around me? I am so grateful for this chance to find my center again and connect with the universe.

More beach and rock.

Just a little light breeze to whisper the Hawaiian spirit.

Cheryl and Corey.

After a great day of playing outside we went to dinner at Tommy Bahama's grill...SOOOOOOOO good. Then we came home and dad got attacked my his boys...what a great picture!

Well, that's the end of Day 1. I'm so tired but am having a great time!!!! See ya tomorrow!

Sego Lilly Lunch

On December 28th my mother and I went to lunch with my aunt and cousins to celebrate my Grandmother Olives birthday.

It was great to remember such an amazing and strong woman. She has always held a very special place in my life…more so now that I’m a woman and all the stories and lessons she used to tell me are laying themselves out before me. I still feel her presence with me each day and know that I have an angel in my life cheering me on in all I do.

Just like my Grandmother, my aunt Mary Kay and her girls have always been a support to me. Stephanie, Kristine and Holly are more like sisters than cousins and I look forward to our lunch and dinner dates. Kris, Stacey and Casey were missing so our group was small but peaceful, fun…full of laughter, love and MEMORIES.

Stephanie and Holly

Mom, Patrice and Aunt, Mary Kay

holiDAZE

The coming of Christmas and the celebration of a New Year have come and gone and can not with good conscious move forward with all the fun of vacation details and pictures of Hawaii until I tie up all the loose ends.

Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was once again left waving at the doorstep as RJ braved the cold weather and separation to spend two lonely nights at work. It's always hard to be away from him on the holidays but he is a dedicated person and a hardworker. The time we did get to spend together was sweet and I loved the memories we created.

I spent Christmas Eve at my moms and enjoyed a GREAT meal (as always) with the sisters and some family friends. I must say that the feeling on Christmas Eve has always been one of peace and acceptance...it's the Moss Hill magic. This year I also got to have Stacey, Drew and Patty Cakes over for movies after we made a quick trip to Rio Tinto to deliver Santa's meal to RJ. Mom decided to stay with Ginger and I, so I also got a Christmas sleepover.

Christmas Day was spent at my dads with the brothers, sisters, Drew, dad, Amy and Amy's family. I can't say enough how much fun it was to see Ashton and Corey light up with their little Christmas Spirit and laughter. I look forward to many years to come and the joy that the two "utes" bring to the holidays.

New Years was a druken rampage that I don't remember but you can contact the Bennions (aka Mike and Shalyse) to find out the details.

Those of you that know me the best will know how true this story is...

Here are some picture highlights of the HOLIDAYS from the lens of CHELSEA!!!

Mom, Casey, Joyce and Jeff

Casey

Stacey and Drew

Corey

Ashton and Corey conquering the slide together.

Ashton...the DUNK king!!!

Above...my dad, Chesley.

And below...who is this...this hot man in the green shirt...RJ...that's right people, he's MINE!!!

The Running Man Part 2

RJ ran his first 10k on the 4th of December. RJ, Patrice and I drove to Moab for the Winter Sun 10k. I thought it would be a little warmer than Bountiful, but it turned out to be a bit colder. He did a great job and has even gotten into the lottery for the half marathon in March. Here are a few pictures. I'm so proud of him!!!

We were also able to see my aunt, Diane and uncle, Charlie while we were there. We had lunch with my cousin Carter as well. It was great to see them and their beautiful house and talk and laugh about memories and good times with family.

He's not JUST my Dad

Happy Birthday Dad! I love you and want you to know what a special person you are to me. Sometimes it's hard to find all the time to express all my caring and compassion to you but always know it is there and that it flows steadily forever and in all directions.

I have always been at ease with you...our eyes are the same and I believe our hearts are too. I see such a willingness to connect within from you and I share in that. I celebrate all you do professional and socially...but most of all I thank you for bringing me my sisters and my brothers. I thank you for the long nights you have spent on our behalf and the many more you will experience.

You are truly beautiful...handsome and caring. TI AMO!!!

Always your daughter-
Chels

KP-da-Shelly

Most of you know her as Casey but I know her as KP-da-Shelly. She celebrated her birthday on October 16th and I have been neglectful in blogging about one of the most beautiful women in my life. So, to you KP, I apologize. I write this publicly but to your heart only.

Case, you truly are an angel. You are absolutely complex and yet so openly loving, caring and giving. People will live a lifetime attempting to get to the core of you and yet experience it at the same time. I hear people talk about the bond that sisters share and the way it weaves together over time. You are like that silk thread that shimmers on the dark days and pulls me into the light again. You are my late night rescue from a bad dream and the early morning escape to watch the sunrise.

I have surfed the waves with you (literally and figuratively). I have rushed down the mountains, only to climb them with you by my side. I know I can always look to my side and see your baby blues there.

I love you...I love you...I love you!!!

The Running Man

RJ ran his first 5k on October 10th. Our nephew Jared ran too.

It was fun to see them together and have Jared over to spend time.

RJ has been training and working really hard at the gym to get ready. It's such a great accomplishment for him and I am so proud of him. It has really turned into a wonderful outlet for him and I've watched his determination grow. I've always known what strength he has but this became more of a mental victory than anything. He's been a little chatterbox about planning everything just perfect and making the right steps...just like he does in life.

I got emotional when I saw him crossing the finish line. We've struggled so much this last year and he has carried US in many ways that I was estatic to see him do something just for himself. He is always taking care of me...worrying about me, my family, his family, his work, friends...it's so nice to see that he is remembering how important he is too.

RJ and Jared's official finish times. They both did great!!!

Relaxing after the race.

So proud of them...

It was a cold moring but my entire family (except Drew...cause he's a working man : ) ) came to cheer RJ on. We are so lucky to have their support and love.

The sisters...Stacey and Casey.

The Dad...Chesley, Amy and the brothers...Corey and Ashton.

The Mom...Patrice.

I love you buddy and really am SOOOOO very proud of you!!! Congratulations!

FALLing in love

RJ and I have a tradition each Fall. We take a drive to see all the beautiful colors nature offers up in the changing of the seasons. It's during these times that we have our best talks, our biggest laughs and sometimes just that comfortable silence that life requires to recharge. This year we took a drive to Eden and then through Ogden canyon. We didn't get too many pictures but here are a few. I love to fall in love with the Utah seasons each year and I love falling in love with RJ!!!

Happy Birthday Corey and Ashton

I just wanted to get a quick post out there about the cutest little brothers in the world. They are turning a year old today and I am so excited. Corey and Ashton are such little angels in our family. They have brought us together, made us laugh, made us cry...and many other feelings. I love you both!!!

Party tonight, so hopefully there will be some great pictures too. Stay tuned!!!

Love your Big sis-
chels

For Love and A Game!!!

Happy Anniversary to Stacey and Drew!!! Three years and still as beautiful and sweet as ever. I love the unique and original love you display with each other...the respect Drew shows to Stacey...the twinkle in Stacey's eyes when she talks about Drew...the feeling that follows you two around...you are BEAUTIFUL!!! I love spending time with both of you, thanks for adopting me on the nights RJ works. TI AMO!

And not to diminish the love of two amazing people...but a love for a game.

YEAH, it's officially football season! Go Utes (and bucs...holding my breath on this one)!! One down with a win in the pocket. I had a blast at the game with Dad, Amy and Casey and celebrated the kickoff of what will hopefully be a great season. I guess I should be excited like everyone else for the the Cougars and their big win against Oklahoma ("it's good for the conference") but that only lasted about a half and hour for me...now I'm just seeing RED!!!!

I can't wait for the upcoming month. There should be a lot to "report" on. Casey's birthday, the twins FIRST birthday, Pops moving the Firm to the new building...maybe something about me in there somewhere...stay tunned!!!

Road Trippin' or just TRIPPIN'

RJ and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary on August 28th. We decided to spend a little time together and take a road trip to Steamboat, Colorado. It is incredibly beautiful there. Sort of a smaller Park City without all the hype.

RJ was raised in Vernal during some of his childhood and I had never been there so he decided it would be fun to drive that way and show me all the sights and sounds that make Vernal...well, Vernal.

We drove all over town and then out to Maeser to find the old house and the tree he used to climb. He was so excited and had many stories to tell me about his friends and trouble he caused...yep, he's not as innocent as he seems!

We even got to spin our wheels dragging mainstreet Vernal looking for my dads new sign at their Vernal office. Pretty hard to miss and it looks AWESOME!!! I'm really proud of my dad and his accomplishments professionally.

The Vernal LDS Temple.


Me and Pinky the dinosaur.



Probally my favorite picture EVER!!!

No vacation from the phone...

Our Balcony view...fun and really pretty!

The sunsetting on our way to Strawberry Springs. This is about 20 minutes from downtown Steamboat and was romantic and really beautiful. It's pools of naturally heated water all connected in different temperatures and levels. You can even schedule massages there...in the beauty of the trees and the sound of the rushing water. The best part is that the "kids" are gone after dark...wink wink...call RJ for more info.

RJ overlooking Fishcreek Falls. It's about 5 minutes from downtown Steamboat and then a just a short hike to a beautiful 200 foot waterfall.

Mt. Werner, Steamboat...the Gondola.

Waiting for the Gondola...CHEESE!!!

On the way up to dinner...bigger CHEESE and don't look down!!!

Dinner and Sunset from the top of Mt. Werner in Steamboat.

Dinner at Hazies...2200 feet above Steamboat. We rode the Gondola to the top and had a romantic Anniversary dinner. It's beautiful and you can see the town below...

Hiking to the Petroglyphs outside of Vernal on our way home and some of them that we could pick out in the mountain.

The top of the Flaming Gorge Dam...

The Flaming Gorge Dam...crazy stuff! I would NOT want to be downstream of this puppy.

The two of us attempting our best tourist shot at the Flaming Gorge Dam.

I just wanted to see if RJ would crawl into this cave...he did :)

The cows were just staring us down in a chicken fight. There were cows everywhere at the Gorge. Personally, I was looking for a bear, but the cows are just as cute I guess.

Flaming Gorge...fast becoming one of my favorite places!!!

We had a great time road trippin' our way through Utah and Colorado. Some of my most favorite memories are the trips that we have, the conversations, singing at the top of lungs and laughing at stupid things...

RJ, do you remember the jug n' loaf and the Dale Gribble look alike?

I love you babe! It was a great get away with memorable times. Strawberry Springs forever!!!

Smooches...ti amo!!!

Little Farm Town

After spending time in Richfield for Grandma Beth’s funeral, the sisters, RJ, mom, Kristi and I decided to take a little detour on the way home and visit the Farm and Fishlake. It was the perfect day for a ride. It was especially cathartic for me and gave me time to be introspective about all that has happened lately. You see, both of my parents grew up in Richfield so both sides of my family kind of merge together in this little farm town. Sometimes I’m amazed it can hold all my memories within its boundaries. Punchbags, fireworks, swimming all day long, herding the cows, driving the tractor, the dairy, games at the park. It all may seem childish…but that’s just it, that’s where I was a child…just like my parents. It’s something so special and so unique. I will always visit, I will always go there…it’s a part of me just like it’s a part of them.

During the visits and weeks in Richfield we would always travel to Big Rock Candy Mountain and Fishlake with both parents, cousins and grandparents. We would eat at Bowery Haven in Fishlake were Grandma Beth would order a “cheeseburger without the cheese” and a “coke."

The one common thread was always the love and laughter that was felt. Richfield has always been a happy and safe place for me. I will always think of family, togetherness, legacy and love when I go there mentally or physically. My history is there and I know my future is too.

Grandma 2008

Goodbye Sweet Grandma

It's hard to believe it's been a week since Grandma passed. The air still catches in my throat when I think of it and the tears seem to surface without warning.

The funeral was beautiful. My sisters and Amy worked really hard to put the special touches to it that only Grandma would admire. Dad and Casey both spoke and each brought an incredible depth and individuality to their relationship with Grandma Beth to life again. Friends and family came from all over to honor and pay tribute to a woman, a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, a grandma...an over all smiling face. There were so many fun stories told about Grandma's early years and her spit fire attitude...I think that runs in the family. There were love stories told of tenderness between her children and husband that I will cherish always. Of coarse, the fond memories I have over the last years with Grandma are still fresh in my mind and heart...it's kinda wierd to go to my dads and not have her there...that was the first thing Stacey, Casey and I would always do...walk over to Grandma's bed in the living room and give her a kiss.

I want her to be in a happy place and I know that's where she is...it's just the adjusting and the rawness of the wound that needs to heal. Until then I snuggle up with a blanket I made her, close my eyes and go walking with her at the farm or take a quick run up to Fishlake.

I love you Grandma! You are forever in my soul...ti amo!