Clarity?

Well it's been a while.  Welcome back to the ramblings of this girls mind.  Much has changed in the last 10 months.  Many experiences have left their mark.  Some good and some bad and some absolutely life changing!  Of course nothing has the potential to change a person like having a child and I am one person that is morphing into motherhood with zero clarity of what life has in store...and for the first time in my life that thought excites me!!!  I'm a planner.  I like to know what's next.  Having a child has helped me see the newness life does offer and can be seen if sought out.

This newness has reached into the depths of an "old soul" and brought back a hunger for life.  It's made the very core of myself want to explore the possibilities that I have kept dormant.  Why would I hold myself back?  Why would I doubt my potential?  They seem like very simple questions with very easy answers however that's who I was.  I was the person that was not worth the time.  I was the woman that was not enough...not a good friend, not a good daughter, a HORRIBLE wife...and NEVER going to be a mother.  Well, I am a mother (to THE perfect daughter for me) and I'm becoming a better friend, daughter and wife.  I say better because that's what this journey has become for me.  It's not about being the best or finding what scale to judge my attributes and character with. It's about being present in my relationships and letting those I love know that I love them.  It's about having the courage to be me, to introduce myself to someone and put myself out there because I have something to offer.  Just a hello, a smile, a wave...they have all made a difference in my life and can in others.

Now is the part where I list all the exceptions to my new way of thinking...I'm really not conceded.  I'm not full of myself.  blah blah blah!  Let's just say that if you really see me this way then you don't know me and I'd be happy to introduce myself to you!  Even writing that is hard because I'm so apprehensive to offend someone but this is the one Chelsea forum that is totally optional.

I'm really committed to post more this year.  This is a great way for me to express thoughts in a way that doesn't involve me talking to myself, my dog or my 7 month old.  Thank you for reading!
Much Love!