Tuesday, August 28, 2012

My Love

 
Today I celebrate my 14th Wedding Anniversary with the most perfect man for me RJ Smith.  RJ and I met almost 20 years ago in Junior High.  From that moment on we have talked almost everyday, laughed, grown together, lived, struggled but we have become a solid team. 

I have never been this in love.  Each day my love for him grows.  I know I can turn to him for support and guidance in any manner.  He is challenging, caring, loving and truthful.  He is hardworking (possible the hardest worker I know).  He is handsome and as the most beautiful soul.  He giving to the point of it being fault.  He is my best friend and has been for so many years.  When I want to hang out I want to hang out with him.  When I want to celebrate life...it's with him.

I live my life side by side with him.  We walk side by side in all things.  We are able to lift each other, cheer each other along, cry with each other.  That's the thing...we KNOW each other so well and in so many ways.  Most communication is subliminal.  Most just happens as our spirits and bodies talk to each other and we just seem to follow.

RJ is the most wonderful just absolutely perfect Husband and the perfect one for this girl.  I love you baby!!!  Thank you for showing me what love is like on so many levels.  You bring love, light, laughter and so much more to my life.

Ti Amo!!!

Monday, August 27, 2012

Change

All of you know that my brain does not seem to have a switch that shuts it off. At times this presents with a challenge but for a really great portion of time it presents as a wonderful gift and brings a chance to rediscover myself. 

Lately I have had the fortunate experience of marveling at the most beautiful stars above the horizon in my life.  They outshine any qualities I could ever reach for.  They light my way...shining a perfect way for my unsteady steps in life.  I feel fortunate to have their knowledge, teaching and gentle ways. 

However, there are some that are missing from this portrait and I think of them and remember their words of encouragement often and with fondness and love.  I was reading in my journals and found some great words that seem to echo through time and find themselves relevant and profound.  One such passage is from the last days of my grandfathers life.  He is a great man and is such a thoughtful and caring love of my life.  His words soothed me as a child, guided me as a teenager and comforted me as an adult.  I am grateful to have had his love through many stages of my life and still feel his gentle urging to continue learning about life, trusting myself and exercising patience in all things.

The passage reads:

Sitting with Grandpa Dwain.  June 27, 2008 3:40 pm.

Grandpa has changed some today.  He has been talking quite a bit and is sharing inspiring words.  I will be writing them as I sit in his room.  Family members have been visiting more and more today.  I can tell he feels many beyond what we see.

Grandpa: "Change will come to all.  This has been a hard day in some way it will always be the best.  I will never forget what the lord has said to me.  Especially the children and grandchildren.  All members of the family.  If we all do our best on both sides.  I will never forget both sides.  It all goes back to everybody.  I think it does.  The most valuable example is to be productive in our lives and He wants to be in all our lives.  There are things and people on the other side for us.  The greatest thing about this is beauty and truth and living together."

There are many people in my life with many opinions about how life begins, is lived and ends.  I respect you all and honor your individual and unique focus.  Since these are my thoughts and this is the place where my usually quiet and deeply personal voice becomes extremely public...this is also the place where my opinion is read. 

My opinion of this passage is best described by holding a mirror to Grandpa and the word truth.  I believe in family.  I live for my family.  I learn from my family.  Everything in my life is FAMILY.  It may be that I have had more time in my life to strengthen my family ties than others but I believe it is just what I was taught to trust in.  My parents, my sweet parents, raised my sisters and I close...always together...always laughing...always supportive.  I watch now as my cute little brothers are also being raised in this tradition.  My grandparents were always close to me.  I could always go to them for anything.  All members of my family!  I believe there is a thread that binds us together and that thread does not fray or fail with time.  Instead the threads of others join and tie us together.  How grateful I am!  How lucky I am to have these encouraging words that change is inevitable and that "in acceptance there is peace."  At a time in life where change is happening quickly for so many around me...how beautifully comforting these words are!!!

Much love!